Bowling

In English, we “go bowling”. Here, we “go play bowling”. Otherwise, this is one of those neologisms that Czech is borrowing from English at a frantic (frantik?) pace. The difference is that Czechs insist on hitting that final “g” as if it were its unvoiced phonemic friend, “k”. So here, we go play “bowlink”. When I bowl with Jiri, he almost always wins. That’s because he waddles down the lane, swings wildly, hurls the ball down the alley, and somehow knocks down more pins, thereby earning “body”, or points. It’s true Jiri has much more body than me, but he’s excercising and eating less so in the future this may not be true. I think I’m too thin to be any good at playing bowlink.

6 odpovědí na “Bowling”

  1. At the bowling sometimes I got a “boule” [read as bowlae]. Czech boule means lump in English. And the word lump [loomp] in Czech means swindler. But how can you swindl at the bowling?

  2. We discussed sports with my boss and I told him: “…and I also like to go bowl.” which means having a spree :o)
    Actualy it was far more true than the original statement…

  3. Jiri Pallas, that other guy who writes stuff here, is a “lump”. Let me explain:

    I was bowling just fine, slamming pins, hurling the ball. I was ahead, winning, on the way to finally beating Mr. Pallas. Then three beautiful women, wearing very little, took the lane next to us.

    As I took my ball from the rack, ready to bowl another impressive strike, the most buxom of these women retrieved hers too, bending way over to reveal a surprisingly amount of what she has under her blouse.

    Foul ball. Jiri smirked.

    Next time, as I was getting ready to send one right up the middle and knock down ten pins, the second one bent down to tie her shoe right next to me, saw my look and smiled.

    Gutter ball. Jiri smirked.

    I resolved not to look. I got my ball and closed my eyes, calmly counting to ten and thinking of icebergs. I opened my eyes, and the third one was casually adjusting her stockings under her very short skirt.

    My ball bounced into the next lane. Jiri smirked.

    Now I can’t say for sure how all this happened, but I am sure I saw Jiri giving the ladies money as we left.

    It is time for the whole world to know. I am the finest bowler in all of Prague. Hell, I should be a professional. The only reason Jiri consistently wins is because he cheats. He’s incorrigible, has no shame, and also has a funny haircut.

    I have contacted the authorities, and I suppose the Bowling Security Council will arrest him and bring him to trial soon. In the meantime, all I can say is don’t bowl with this man.

    And, ladies, I’ll be in lane number three at seven if you want to go bowling again…

  4. As a result of extensive patient research, (last night at the hospoda)I have recently discovered the ancient origins of the word, “bowlink”. I was mistaken when I wrote that this is a mispronunciation of “bowling”. In fact, this bowlink is a historic game played with arrows and rope.

    The object of the game to is shoot a bow and arrow where the arrow has a string, rope, or chain attached to it. After you hit the target, usually a member of the opposing team of players, you can use the chain, rope, string to pull them over to your side. The first team to kill and drag all the other players over wins, which is known as a “link”.

    Bowlink was invented by the Hussites. Jan Hus himself was well known as a good “linker” or, in Czech, “linker”. At one tournament his is said to have linked several notable members of the aristocracy. Zizkov was linked through the eye, which explains his eye-patch.

    I’m looking forward to bowlinking with Jiri. I can’t loose!

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