Panák

At first, I thought this was some sort of root for “panelák”, the prefabricated apartments. So when I was offered a “panák” at the hospoda, I wondered if someone wanted me to take a building. I’m not one to turn down a real estate opportunity, so I agreed. It turns out, a panák is a shot glass of variable size filled with liquids of variable taste which are all infused with alcohol of variable potency. One can achieve quite interesting physiological reactions by varying the combination of these liquours, along with beer and wines of various descriptions. Incuded in these reactions are sincere confessions, instant comaradary, or (conversely) instant dislike or argumentiveness. In extreme cases or repeated panák application, (in my professional scientific experiments), stumbling, heavy sleepiness, and projectile rainbow vomiting can be observed. This turns out to be less pleasant and amusing than it appears. Frequently, the following morning, day, or even week may be spent in
cold sweats, violent shaking, and stabbing pains precisely where the cerebrum connects to the cerebral cortex. While in this condition, the diligent student of Czech repeats the word, “panák”, with reverence and fear.

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